Explore
Gaia Soulmates
 Advertising keeps Gaia free! Interested in sponsoring us?

Alone.

Posted on Feb 1st, 2009 by Tifster : Storyteller Tifster
I am getting divorced at 22 years old. Epic Fail. I can move on, but right now I feel like I have failed everyone I know. They believed that I could make this relationship work, I believed I could make it work. Now, I see that all my fight has been in vain. I have made a huge mistake in believing that two different kinds of personalities (like me and my husband) could make it. I had a fifty fifty chance and I did not make the cut. 

However, I could look back and say that what I did was for my happiness. My life did improve in many ways. I learned many things about love and the people you choose to spend your life with. I am in college and doing well, and i can financially support myself. I have a good relationship with my mother, and I have many friends who are here to keep my spirits up.

Maybe someday I will find someone who has shared my pain and wants the same things I do... I am young and perhaps I will be happy someday. It will be a better happy too. I will deal with my shame and repair relationships that I have let go. But ultimately, I need to make myself happy. 
Access_public Access: Public What do you think? Print views (139)  

Alone?

Posted on Feb 1st, 2009 by Tifster : Storyteller Tifster
My husband came back a few days ago. Last night, I got a lot of truth. Knowing all this truth, I have decided that I want to try to make our relationship work again and redefine it somehow. But I am not sure this will work. 
I am waiting for a simple answer, yes or no. At this point, I believe I am wiling to accept both answers. 
Access_public Access: Public What do you think? Print views (53)  

Alone Part 2

Posted on Jan 28th, 2009 by Tifster : Storyteller Tifster
I have titled this alone part 2, but I havn't really been alone. I am surprised how many people have come to my aid. As I said in my earlier blog, my husband of 2 1/2 years just left me. After we talked and decided to separate for a month, he moved out. So many of my friends have stepped up to keep me happy and sane. 
It is really a comfort to have my friends, because if I was alone I would have surely slipped into depression. However, their support has allowed me to see the good in the situation and hope for a better future with or without my husband. 
It seems so early for me to reach this conclusion, but it is comfortable. I am taking this the best way I can, and so far it seems to be working. 
I have always taken my problems head on. The problems I have ignored have always come back to haunt me. Now, I am trying to cope, prepare for the worst, and hope for the best for myself.  I say that because whatever I decide to do should be for best for me. Being apart is painful, but it seems right. Right?
Access_public Access: Public What do you think? Print views (34)  

Alone...

Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 by Tifster : Storyteller Tifster
My husband told me that he didn't want to be with me anymore. He is moving out today, and I'm not sure that we can work through this. We had a good, loving relationship once. We married after high school and it would have been three years this June. 
Perhaps we were too young. The thought had occurred to me before, but it was never as clear as it seems right now. He wants to be alone and independent, and I have to admit (or need to admit) that i want the same thing at this current moment. 
I really love him and care about him, but a growing part of me wonders if it was as good as we believed. The times we spent together were happy and full of love, but how much of it was childish puppy love. 
I want to hit rock bottom. I want to drink my cares away. I want to wake up at three in the afternoon and spend the rest of the day piecing together the night before. I know this isn't a good solution, but I don't want to feel anymore. I may take this road or I may not. What I do know it that I want this experience to shape me. If I need to take a risk I do not normally take, then I will.   
I have resolved to work through this and carry on the best I can. I have a few friends who are here for me, and I hope to make more very soon. I am thankful that I still have my dignity. 
Access_public Access: Public 1 Comment Print views (40)  

When were you last completely dependent on someone?

Posted on Jan 21st, 2009 by Tifster : Storyteller Tifster
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for January 21, 2009:

It has been a very long time since I was completely dependent on someone. I would say it was my mother, but when I lived at home I was an active part of helping with housework and my brother and sister. 
I am dependent on my husband right now, but not completely. We both work to bring in money. I do the housework (because I want to) and he helps.
I believe that you should never be whole dependent, nor should you be expected to be independent. Life is easier, happier, and more complete when you have someone you can trust helping you through it. I take comfort in knowing that if i ever need to be completely dependent, I have many wonderful people in my life helping me. 
Access_public Access: Public 1 Comment Print views (47)  
Tagged with: QaR, dependent, gratitude, help, support, illness, youth

How do you deal with fear?

Posted on Jan 19th, 2009 by Tifster : Storyteller Tifster
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for January 19, 2009:

This is a really hard question for me to answer. I have tried to write this several times and find that dealing with fear is an ongoing battle in my life. I have a good life and I am happy, but sometimes my fears about the future are so great that I almost drown in it. Its biological, my mother deal with the same anxiety problems I am now. I seek her help when I feel like fears is overtaking my life. She comforts me because she tells me about what she felt and feared.  
Access_public Access: Public What do you think? Print views (35)  
Tagged with: QaR, fear, scary, frightened, care, comfort

What has your recent relationship to money been like?

Posted on Jan 13th, 2009 by Tifster : Storyteller Tifster
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for January 13, 2009:

I traffic money through our lives. I write down all of our purchases in the check book, and pay all of the bills. Its like I usher it in and usher it out. You could personify my relationship with money to a traffic control officer. These monies go this way, these monies stop and stay awhile. Sometimes there are no "cars" so I have to wait until the next traffic rush (payday). 

I am the types of person who would rather have her bills paid than extra cash to spend. I believe that someday I will make a little more money, and I will have that little extra cash. Right  now I am content with directing the money traffic through my home. 
Access_public Access: Public 1 Comment Print views (41)  
Tagged with: QaR, money, wealth, relationships, finances

If you had to pick another religion to practice, what would it be

Posted on Jan 12th, 2009 by Tifster : Storyteller Tifster
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for January 12, 2009:

My husband studied Buddhism for awhile, and I believe we both wish we could be Buddhist. It is not the religion everyone thinks. Karma is about treating others with compassion and love and not about 'justice' or getting revenge. Buddha teaches us to walk the middle path, and to treat all life with respect. 
I may not agree with everything Buddhism teaches, but respect for all life is very important and the central theme in the religion. I believe everyone and everything deserves to be treated with compassion and respect. 
Access_public Access: Public 1 Comment Print views (38)  
Tagged with: QaR, religion, practices, spirituality

What would you whisper as a wish for the dawning year?

Posted on Jan 1st, 2009 by Tifster : Storyteller Tifster
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for January 01, 2009:

I wish that people would like me for who I am. 
Access_public Access: Public 2 Comments Print views (62)  
Tagged with: QaR, new year, intention, wish, year, hope, promise

What song or poem or work of art best captures your mood?

Posted on Dec 23rd, 2008 by Tifster : Storyteller Tifster
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for December 23, 2008:

This time of the year, I really feel that the X files captures my mood. It weird, but it reminds me of my childhood. Its not really a work of art, but it is significant to me. I remember watching the show so religiously as a kid, and it reminds me of a carefree time. I still watch the show, but I really feel it during Christmas time. 
Access_public Access: Public What do you think? Print views (35)  
Tagged with: QaR, song, art, poem, feeling, emotions
Page 1 of 3123›
Showing 1 - 10 of 30 Results